I underestimated college. I underestimated Pharmacy. I overestimated myself. Hay, Hirap.
I've been busy with a lot of exams and practical tests and projects that I wasn't able to blog for some time. And imagine, I only have 4 subjects worth 16 units. What more kung fully-loaded na ako? Pano na ako sa second sem??
Ayoko munang isipin yun. I'm just trying to survive this sem. So far, it's okay naman. My grades aren't at their best but what matters is that they are all passing grades. I can't afford to retake any subject.
Yun lang. Wala lang akong magawa. Internet connection at my house was disrupted yesterday. Ewan ko ba dun sa SmartBro. Siguro dahil sa ulan. I just hope it's back up today. Marami akong kailangan i-research. =D
Maybe the next time I blog would be this sembreak na. Haha. :)
Usually, i decide on the title first when posting but today, I'm going to think about the title after I've done my rambling. =D
Okay, where to start... About my last blog entry, don't mind that. Haha. That was just a sudden attack of temporary insanity. O.O Like I said there, I was just overthinking things kaya yun. Much ado about nothing.
Ay! 68 nga pala ako sa Org Chem. So I guess I'm not failing it after all! Yipee! You have absolutely no idea how happy I was when I learned I pass. It was like a big thorn finally pulled from my throat. BioChem, here I come!!! I was thinking of choosing 2F as my home section since I've made some potential friends there. :) PERO, kung si Sir Torres pa rin ang prof nila for BioChem, I might change my mind. Ayoko ng manganib ulit.
I'm here sa school now. Ayoko na nga talagang maginternet ngayon eh. Nakakasawa din pala ang palaging online noh. Ever since we subscribed to smartbro, parang I lost my mood na. I just don't know how to kill time that's why I decided to go here na rin. I need to study for my Theo test din naman eh so I need to do some research.
Another thing! Yesterday was the first ever time that I've watched Grey's Anatomy. And I love it!! It's all about Meredith Grey and her life as a Surgical Intern. Ang cool! Parang gusto ko na tuloy magsurgeon. Hahaha. I remember when I was in Elementary, yun ang gusto kong maging, maging Surgeon. Pero I realized that I'm squirmish, kaya hindi na lang. I don't pass out at every sight of blood naman, pero TOO much blood, I can't take. I watched like 7 episodes yesterday. I'm going to watch the remaining 5 later when I get home. Can't wait!
Yun, nonsense naman pinagsasabi ko. Hahaha. La lang. Walang magawa eh. :)
PROMISE. Yan ang laman ng utak ko ngayon. Nakailang type na ako ng intro but I still can't put my thoughts into words kaya ganyan na lang. YAN ANG LAMAN NG UTAK KO. Wag kayong mag-alala, walang code yan.
The problem with me is that I think toooooooo much. Another problem is that I don't know how to stop doing it. I think, I think, I think. Buti sana if it does me good but the effect is the exact opposite. I have a knack of making matters worse than they actually are by thinking they are. :'( Ayoko ng mag-isip. Naiiyak na ako.
Hanggang dito na lang. Nawala ako ng gana mag-blog bigla. Gulo ko noh?
My closest girl friend, Rachelle texted me earlier today, twice, asking what happened to me last Saturday. My "problem(s)" actually occured last Saturday. Parang nagkasabay-sabay na nga lang ang mga malas eh. Basta. I'm still not ready to tell.
Saturday nights are usually sleepover at Mich's place and that was what's supposed to happen last Saturday night. Unfortunately, demise came to me and I wasn't able to spend the night there. What that demise was, I would never ever reveal here in my blog. Sorry. =P Like I said it's personal.
Rachelle got alarmed siguro since I texted Mich telling her of an emergency at home being the reason that I couldn't come. Mich said she understands naman. What I said was true. There was an emergency at home. A BIG emergency. Rachelle and Mich knows I wouldn't miss the sleepover for the world.
Tapos Saturday night pa, right before I went to bed, I sent out a text message to all that says "I sure hope all of you had a better day than mine. goodnight." It was nice to see some messages of concern when I woke up. :) Pero I didn't tell them what happened naman. Basta I told them na I was OK na. Which was not at all true.
The problem was, the ONE person I wish would care and ask me what happened, didn't even gave a damn. I knew it. I was a fool to even think that he would even care, being the insensitive prat that he is. Hay.
ENOUGH.
I'm hunggggrrrryyyyyyy. I decided to join Monique, Joan and Donna for lunch today. Eh biglang hindi pala sila maglulunch. Hay, gutom na ako. I'll just buy something from the cafe na lang before Chem Lec.
Chem leeeeeecccc.. My least favorite subject. If only I wasn't trying to catch up, magkacut na lang ako. Ah basta.
Hay, malungkot ako. Pero ayoko sabihin ang rason. It's rather... personal. Even my closest friends don't know what happened to me. They don't even have the slightest idea. It's not that I don't want them to know, I'm just not yet ready to tell. I'm thinking na if I told them about it, I couldn't help but burst into tears. So as for now, akin na po muna yun.
Salamat. :)
Okay, I was thinking of sharing something in my post today. Last Friday, my old officemate, Sheryl, told me of a video of the supposedly "trailer" of Titanic 2. YES, TAY-TA-NIC TWO, as in sequel nung Titanic 1 na highest grossing film of allllll time. Being a flick-freak that I am, I was soooo surprised because I haven't heard of such. Then she said nga that there is a trailer so she told me to check out Youtube.
By hearing Youtube pa lang I laughed na. If that "trailer" is the real thing then it should have its own website, right? I went to google muna to search for it, not even IMDB has a record of it so from there pa lang I knew that "trailer" isn't really a trailer at all.
So from google, I found my way to youtube and the "trailer". I watched it and now you should too so here it is...
*drumroll*
It's somehow convincing, noh? Some even commented asking when the non-existent movie would come out. Ang galing kasi my voice over pa, then the editting was superb. Kung hindi ako mahilig manood ng movies, malamang I was also fooled.
Most of the clips the maker of this "trailer" used was from Catch Me If You Can, The Beach, even Romeo and Juliet and of course, from the original Titanic. Maraming ring ginamit na clips from other movies. I recoginzed one from A Beautiful Mind with Jennifer Conelly, tapos a clip from a John Cusack movie, I don't know which one though. Basta yun.
Magaling, ang galing ng pagkakagawa. :) Hahaha. Natawa ako. Hahahahaha.
Anyway highway, CONGRATULATIONS TO THE GAWI DANCERS!! Woohoo! Five years in a row! Jive for Five! Hay, I just can't help but be proud to be a Thomasian myself. :)
Congrats din to my old Alma Mater FEU for beating UP. I can't believe UP made it to 3rd. I hate what they did. FEU was deserving of being the 1st Runner up. Kung maganda lang ang costume nila baka natalo pa ang UST. Hahahaha. Buti na lang pangit. =P
Anyway, gtg. I still have theo next then I'll go home na. I don't have Org Chem lab today since my classmates will have a recollection this afternoon.
Today isn't a good day for me. For the very first time in my life, I feel like I'm going to fail at something I SHOULD be good at. I know it's not right to feel this way because people fail all the time and it's not just me. But, I just really can't help but be bummed. Maybe because I know that it is not just myself that I'm failing, I'm failing my dad.
Not to brag and all but I am used to doing well in school. I think it's the only thing I'm good at nga eh. I mean, I'm not pretty, I'm not even good in singing or dancing, even sports, not even arts! Sa school lang talaga ako nageexcel. I'm proud to say that I get good grades, often with little or sometimes no effort at all.And now, I'm putting much effort into it and it looks like it will all be in vain. (wag naman po sana!)
Okay, here's the deal. I'm hanging for my dear, dear life in Organic Chem. I know I've mentioned that I don't have a very good prof and that the subject is really hard. During the monthly grading period, I admit, I'm not taking the subject seriously. I mean, I sleep during lectures, I don't study my notes (when I have them), I don't study for quizzes.. o di ba? Then it dawned on me that I NEED to study for the prelims and I did. I DID! I STILL DO! I no longer sleep during lectures. Kahit parang may pampatulog ang boses ni Sir Torres, gising ako, nagnonotes ako! I study for quizzes, I participate in lab experiments, I even do homeworks ON MY OWN! But it seems as if all my efforts are in vain, coz I'm still failing.
Alright, so I'm not putting my 100% on it. Syempre, self-proclaimed Juan Tamad ako eh so there were still times na I wam too lazy to do something. Pero I think I've given about 95% effort to it.
Org Chem lang naman problem ko eh. I'm doing SO well in BioSci, Phar1 and so-so in Theo. Yun sa Theo, ewan ko, parang wala talaga akong gana sa klase ko dun eh. Like earlier today, we had no class in theo na naman. Sino ba naman gaganahan dun?
Only one month left till final exams. Finals na, I'm scared that I won't have enough time to catch up. I don't want JUST to pass. AYOKO NG TRES. Hindi pa nga ako nagkakados, magkakatres na ako?! Hindi pede yun. I'm aiming at most a 2 since I know I don't have a chance for a 1.something grade anymore. I just can't imagine what my dad would feel. He's my number 1 fan. :) I'm not kidding. He's one of the people that gets me going. He's the reason why I have high hopes and dreams. He believes I can do anything, absolutely anything.
Hay, grabe! Iba talaga ang college. Ngayon ko lang naranasan na pilitin ang sarili kong mag-aral kahit ayoko pero dahil kailangan, nag-aral ako! I've never even experienced this during my first year at FEU. Siguro dahil mejo madali pa ang subjects ko nun kaya ganun. Oh well... iba talaga, yun lang masasabi ko.
Well, I need to catch up naman kasi. My grades are really disappointing. Malulungkot si Ama kapag nakita niyang mababa mga grades ko. I'm keeping my dad updated with the things in school naman. Alam niyang nagmake-up classes kami sa Org Chem. (haha!) syempre, nanghingi ako sa kanya ng pangbayad. >.< He knows I'm having trouble with that subject. Well, who isn't?!? Habang nagtetest ako sa Org Chem, di ko mapigilang manggigil sa Prof namin. The test would've been easy if only he taught it well.Yun tuloy. Salamat sa Make-up classes na P1000 an hour at may naisagot naman kahit papano.
For my exams in PhyAna Lec&Lab and OrgChem Lec&lab, sinagad ko talaga ang oras. I took my time in answering the exams, kahit di ko talaga alam ang sagot, piniga ko ang utak ko just to make the luckiest, most intelligent guess I can make. Sana it paid off. Haha. As for my Phar1 test, again, piece of cake (yabang!). I finished the test within 10 minutes, and that included double checks, even triple checks. Of course, may mga items na I'm not sure pero over-all, it was easy. As for Theo, ewan..parang di ko siniryoso yung test. Yun lang yata yung test kong hindi ako nag-aral ng puspusan. Ewan ko ba...parang nakakawala ng gana ang Theo. Buti na lang last subject yun or else, nasira ang momentum ko.
So that was it. There are a lot of things going on in my *ahem* personal life. Pero I really don't want to get into that. Let's just say... I'm free. Interpret it however you like. Haha.
Patricia Coreen Enriquez Cha, Pachu, Trish, Patis 19 year old Female Mandaluyong City, Philippines University of Santo Tomas BS Pharmacy Chocolate/Pasta lover NBA/UAAP fanatic Potter Freak Frustrated Poet/Writer Frustrated cheer dancer Big Dreamer
