. The Art of Failing .
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
5:18 PM
Today isn't a good day for me. For the very first time in my life, I feel like I'm going to fail at something I SHOULD be good at. I know it's not right to feel this way because people fail all the time and it's not just me. But, I just really can't help but be bummed. Maybe because I know that it is not just myself that I'm failing, I'm failing my dad.
Not to brag and all but I am used to doing well in school. I think it's the only thing I'm good at nga eh. I mean, I'm not pretty, I'm not even good in singing or dancing, even sports, not even arts! Sa school lang talaga ako nageexcel. I'm proud to say that I get good grades, often with little or sometimes no effort at all.And now, I'm putting much effort into it and it looks like it will all be in vain. (wag naman po sana!)
Okay, here's the deal. I'm hanging for my dear, dear life in Organic Chem. I know I've mentioned that I don't have a very good prof and that the subject is really hard. During the monthly grading period, I admit, I'm not taking the subject seriously. I mean, I sleep during lectures, I don't study my notes (when I have them), I don't study for quizzes.. o di ba? Then it dawned on me that I NEED to study for the prelims and I did. I DID! I STILL DO! I no longer sleep during lectures. Kahit parang may pampatulog ang boses ni Sir Torres, gising ako, nagnonotes ako! I study for quizzes, I participate in lab experiments, I even do homeworks ON MY OWN! But it seems as if all my efforts are in vain, coz I'm still failing.
Alright, so I'm not putting my 100% on it. Syempre, self-proclaimed Juan Tamad ako eh so there were still times na I wam too lazy to do something. Pero I think I've given about 95% effort to it.
Org Chem lang naman problem ko eh. I'm doing SO well in BioSci, Phar1 and so-so in Theo. Yun sa Theo, ewan ko, parang wala talaga akong gana sa klase ko dun eh. Like earlier today, we had no class in theo na naman. Sino ba naman gaganahan dun?
Only one month left till final exams. Finals na, I'm scared that I won't have enough time to catch up. I don't want JUST to pass. AYOKO NG TRES. Hindi pa nga ako nagkakados, magkakatres na ako?! Hindi pede yun. I'm aiming at most a 2 since I know I don't have a chance for a 1.something grade anymore. I just can't imagine what my dad would feel. He's my number 1 fan. :) I'm not kidding. He's one of the people that gets me going. He's the reason why I have high hopes and dreams. He believes I can do anything, absolutely anything.
HELP ME GOD!
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